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Showing posts from August, 2013

Spiderman Backpacks and Indoor Shoes: Notes from a First-Time Nervous Teacher-Mom

1. My Baby I remember when he needed me for everything. Eating, drinking, pooping, loving. EVERYTHING. Forgive me when I over zealously protect him, or eye other small kindergarteners suspiciously, and loudly demand to you that he is clearly a genius. It's all a cover for the fact that, I'm a little sketched out about the truth that I know in my heart as a teacher - he's ready to learn to do things on his own.  He's ready to learn to read novels and write literature and to solve complex equations, and change the world.  But I know something as a Mama, I never knew as a teacher before - he'll always be my baby.

2. Look at that FaceWhen he was about ONE, I seemed to think that things like Kindergarten and friends, and school aged childhood was a millennium away.  Please understand that this has all cropped up on me kind of quickly.  As a teacher, I never really thought about that before - but it's a big change for families who, up to this Sunny September morning, …

Consequence Road

Lately when I get up in the morning and those stressed out little thoughts that push at the back of my mind start up, You didn't get a call yesterday, School is starting in a few days - what makes you think they'll call you? All those people who told you this is where you'd be, we're right. Don't you wish you'd listened to them.  It's hard to remember when this happens that this is what I chose. I chose to walk away. I know why I chose to walk, I think it was because I finally decided that I am worth something - and no one person is going to make me feel otherwise.  But, that's not always easy to remember when I stare things like possible long term unemployment, making ends meet, and watching my dreams  fade to the background for another year, in the face. 

But, I've been learning something.  To risk sounding cliched - it does seem to be about the journey and not the destination.  There are things I want to accomplish in my life, places I want to v…

Legacy of the Unwanted

Being a daughter isn't as easy as it looks.

Dear O,

Do you know that I wanted you, even before I knew if you were there? Even before I felt you move, stretch and kick at the boundaries of your dark, warm, snug world, I wanted to hold you. Did you know that we come from a family of beautiful, strong, intelligent women? That imprinted deep on the fabric of who we are, is grace, laughter, and compassion? We come from a legacy of women who have never had it easy, but who never give up - accomplishing many things in the quiet, dignified strength that women come by as a gift of our creation.

Sometimes, my Love, history is difficult to hear, hard to imagine.  It is something I am just learning myself recently, that our family actually isn't perfect, or always right.  We've done things, unintentionally or not, that cause wounds and scars, my Mother's Mother, my Mother, and me. In our brokenness, we've learned lies to be truth, I'm not wanted, I'm not worthy, I'…

Five Best Things about a Vacation from Uncertainty

5. The world is bigger on the Open Road...

There's no place like home.  It's true, but as much as home is safety, security, family and friends - it tends to be a small place where it's easy to focus on my own life, and it's ups and downs...it's a place where wondering what exactly I'm going to do come September, can be overwhelming.  

But, packing the car to the brim, loading the kids up with Gravol, DVD's, and dinner of champions - pretzels and popcorn, and driving into the sunset lets me leave home behind, just for a little while. It's easy to forget the future and live right now when the blue mountains are edging over the horizon.  



4. Where the heck are we? 

In our excitement to get away, we forgot to check which hotel we would be spending the night in, when we reached Hinton. After a great deal of debate, we had to track down some open wifi before we were able to get ourselves settled in the Hotel we'd booked for the night. 

It wasn't the hotel…