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Showing posts from December, 2014

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It's complicated.

In the past 30 years or so, I failed to develop much in the way of self worth. I learned how to fake it, a smile and a happy heart.  But secretly I believed that I only had what I had because I'd managed to trick people into thinking that I would be a good wife, good mother and good employee - and if I was good enough, I would be able to hold it together. This is the story of how it all fell apart.

In June of 2013 I walked away from my teaching job utterly broken. I felt like I had lost everything. I lost teaching at a school I loved because people who I trusted, who told me they loved my Jesus, lied and summarily brought down not only my little world, but everything I felt I knew about myself. I felt like if I wasn't a popular teacher, admired by my students, in my safe little school, then who was I? I felt worthless, a burden on everyone around me, and I was scared. It was like I could sense crisis looming, like watching a dam bulge right before it bur…